Write a film script


(Miguel Piedrafita) #1

Have you ever noticed how scriptwriters in series like CSI Cyber battle to come up with the most unrealistic scripts?

Example script (CSI Cyber t2 ep1)

The episode starts with remote-controlled cockroaches. Then, they detect there has been a murder using a Roomba. Then, they get the murderer’s description using a console that looks like a NES and finally they get the hacker’s identity because a phone next to the computer somehow recorded the keypresses of the computer in his motion sensor, that somehow was recovered after putting the phone in a blender with another phone.

So, my proposal is the following: let’s make a mega-unrealistic collaborative script.

To do that, you have to continue the story from the last reply by making it even more unrealistic. Who knows, we may be able to sell it to Fox! :joy:

Edit: Oh, man, this is awesome
Edit 2: lol, this is getting out of hand

(Miguel Piedrafita) #2

Ok, so lemme start: Someone uses wardiving to hack a Nexpresso machine to make it poison the cofee and kill the victim.

(Benjamin Philippe) #3

James Bond comes along and is about to use the Nexpresso, but he notices it’s hacked and somehow uses SQL (with his laptop) to find the cyborg hacker in a bar.

(Filip Samuel) #4

A cyberdog grabs the Nexpresso and gives it to Chuck Norris who drinks it and says: “Tastes like piss” then shots James Bond

(Benjamin Philippe) #5

It turns out James Bomd was wearing explosive light-up sketchers that kill the cyber dog and leave an almost non-existant scratch on Chuck Norris.

(Miguel Piedrafita) #6

But it seems like the cyberdog was being remote-controlled in brainf*ck by someone who manages to make the bar lights explode because they were vulnerable to XSS.

(Jip) #7

Cyberdog starts crying because he has glass all over him, and so hacks all glass away.

(Benjamin Philippe) #8

The cyberdog’s bf code evolves into an A.I. that overthrows it’s creator and takes over the m a t r i x. (And thus can hack the glass out of existence.)

(Filip Samuel) #9

But there is a bug in the cyberdogs bf which causes the creation of a new timeline where cats are not existing and dogs rule the humans.

(Miguel Piedrafita) #10

Then, James Bond breaks into that dimension using the Portal Gun carrying a cat, that causes the collapse of that civilization.

(Benjamin Philippe) #11

Cyberdog, who somehow gains back control of all the timelines, creates a the new and improved Lisp Flavored Cyberdog.

(MH Xion) #12

James opens up his eyes, a girly voice asks, “did you see it?” James thinkin’ it could be the girl he noticed earlier, slender nose and height approximately 5" 4. “Yeah it’s hard to believe this tiny box just showed me the fuking future" “Well, it’s not exactly the future, but a close appropriate event based on the current ongoings, you should thank to our Goddess AI.” “Why’s it a female?” “Beg your pardon?” "Nothing, I think I should go now, it starts at morning, I don’t wanna see the fuking portal again.” James realizes the girl is already gone. He mumbles, “Feminists!”

(Miguel Piedrafita) #13

The only think that James can think about is stopping what he saw, and the only way to do that is hacking into the van used to wardrive the Nexpresso. He logs into his computer and uses CSS to get the van’s GPS coordinates.

(Filip Samuel) #14

James Bond uses a missile launched from a sattelite built with PHP to destroy the van, but the hacker is not in the van

(Jip) #15

That’s because the hacker uploaded himself to the cloud (why tf is this actually a part of a movie)

(Miguel Piedrafita) #16

But he forgot that Google Drive auto-backed his computer, so he got downloaded there

(Benjamin Philippe) #17

James Bond finds the hacker’s computer and jumps in with the cat from the first timeline (or is it?).

(Miguel Piedrafita) #18

A SHA1 comparison of the cat’s hash reveals that it isn’t the same cat, but someone tried to make it look so using a SHA1 collision.
Meanwhile, the hacker tries to escape in a tron-like maze.

(Filip Samuel) #19

The false cat is a Python malware that uses machine learning, due to a bug, the cat becomes an AI capable of predicting the future, a Goddes AI

(Benjamin Philippe) #20

The Goddess Cat A.I. leaves James Bond to go back to the past where she knows she will be honoured.